2017年8月27日 星期日

流浪者之歌14 Siddhartha X IV


流浪者之歌14   Siddhartha X IV


狼痛苦的喘息著,忍著肚子被撞破的痛,不甘心的問悉達多,你從來沒有這麼衝動過,為什麼要這樣對我?為什麼要這樣對我?!悉達多覆述一遍狼的話,為什麼要這樣對我???再覆述一次。

狼再次大聲的說:對啊!就我聽說的你,還有接近你的感覺,都清楚你根本不可能這樣對待我,你最替別人著想的,而且我餓了,大家都有防備,我餓了,更何況我剛剛是一口就把你吃下去,「一口」,也沒帶給你痛苦。

悉達多眼睛閃著淚光!什麼時候開始?自己一直扮演慈善的角色,那不是他流浪的目的,想起來了,救了一個人,後來覺得自己對別人很重要,更可怕的是,壓根就忘記原來的修學,至少自己原來所學習的課程裡,不只是教當個好人而已。

現在面對狼的質問,反而驚醒!面對狼自己毫無頭緒,如果用慈悲原諒牠,自己就得死在牠的肚子裡,如果打死狼,違背自己的想法,狼說得很對,他不會對誰不好,更何況殺掉,狼比自己了解自己,自己真的需要狼的幫助。

悉達多喃喃唸著......

半寄

Gasping for breath and reeling from the pain caused by the rent in his stomach, the wolf indignantly said, “What’d you do that for? It’s so unlike you!”

“What’d you do that for?” Siddhartha retorts, “What’d you do that for?”In a loud voice the wolf says, “That’s right! You’re so gentle and kind, and I’m your dear disciple, so how could you treat me like this? You care about others more than me! What’s more, I’m hungry, and everybody else is on guard. In any case, I swallowed you whole, to spare you the pain of being chewed up.”

With tears glistening in his eyes, Siddhartha knows that he has long been devoted to kindness and charity, even though that’s not his goal in living the life of a wandering ascetic. He also knows that helping others gives one a sense of self-importance, and, even worse, distracts one from one’s original purpose. In fact, his root teacher had always made it clear that kindness and generosity are necessary, but not sufficient.


Confronted with the wolf’s admonition, Siddhartha finds himself in a conundrum. If he had taken the compassionate, pacifist approach, he would have died in the wolf’s stomach; on the other hand, if he had killed the wolf, that would have gone against his morals. After all, the wolf was right: “I must never harm or kill anyone. As it turns out, the wolf knows me better than I know myself. I really do need the wolf,” Siddhartha mutters to himself.


  Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak

   







         
                      

                                                                       
                                                                  


                                                                 


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