2017年8月27日 星期日

流浪者之歌 12 Siddhartha XII


流浪者之歌 12 Siddhartha XII


悉達多第一次感覺到,我的身體不是我的,一直以來總無法相信指導者跟他說的,身體是不自由的,身體被外面及內在很多因素牽動著。

現在狼還很堅定跟自己說 : 你需要我的。

自己曾經多麼引以為傲,所做所為都是符合人世間的至善至美,再也不曾感覺到,有什麼痛苦,折磨會在自己的身邊? 而現在一個轉身,就一個轉身,原來那些他認為已經消失的人間苦痛,真真可以觸摸就在自己的旁邊。對於善與惡,從來沒深入了解過,更何況是自己用生命要追求的解脫,一切都只停留在自我的感覺裡,自我認定的善與惡裡,自我認為的修持裡 !

狼的話,強而有力穿刺的說:「悉達多,你自認的善,不堪一擊」

悉達多記得指導者說過 : 明白善、惡是解脫的第一個思考方向,了解了什麼,才能解脫什麼 !

生命導師啊悉達多嘴唇沒有力量發聲,只能用他的心顫抖喊著,「給我一點力量,我就要消失,我從來不知道我沒有力量,現在更連站著都有問題 !

半寄

This was the first time Siddhartha had ever felt that his body was not his own. Although many times in the past his teacher had told him that the body has no freedom, since it is constantly being affected by all sorts of factors, both internal and external, he could never fully accept this idea.

At that time, the wolf was certain that Siddhartha needed him.

Siddhartha was proudly convinced that everything he did was in perfect conformity with the standards of human ethics, and he was certain that no suffering or setback would ever beset him. But now things were different, and all those tribulations he thought were a thing of the past were now upon him. He had never gained a deep understanding of good and evil, to say nothing of liberation, the quest for which had become the focus of his life. Everything came to a halt in his feeling and perception, in his views on good and evil, and in his ideas about spiritual practice.

As for this, the wolf pointedly declared, “Siddhartha, your understanding of goodness is extremely fragile.”Siddhartha then recalled that his teacher once said, “Understanding good and evil is of primary importance on the path of liberation; to be liberated from something, you have to first understand it!”

“You are my teacher in life!” said Siddhartha, dumbstruck for a moment, before blurting out with trembling lips, “Give me some strength; I’m just about finished; I’ve always thought of myself as strong and energetic, but right now I can barely remain standing!”

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak












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