2017年8月27日 星期日
悉達多的流浪故事 Episode XXX II (The Final Episode)
書名:悉達多的流浪故事(人性與狼的奇遇記) Siddhartha 作者:半寄
悉達多的流浪故事32( 完結篇)
悉達多回到他待過的村莊，村民很久沒看過他，大家都想知道他去了哪裡？在修學什麼功課 ?
修學的定力，讓他覺得人群一下子很近、一下子很遠，時間跟空間的感受都跟以前不一樣，很多時候時間、空間很陌生。應該說是舊的感覺已去，新的感覺一直在隨著時間、空間，『更新』。
這種感覺如何跟人們說去？!
悉達多想起「空」的修學裡面，提起因與緣的改變。透過修學的因素，自己塑造另一個自己，也改變跟人們的互動對待，全新的生活，不一樣的感官。
只是這一切，似乎是一個幽默，到頭自己竟然無法說出那樣的感覺！
真的是屬於捻起一朵花的微笑嗎？
空中無言
半寄
Episode XXX II (The Final Episode)
When Siddhartha finally returns to the village, everyone
wants to know where he has been and what sort of practice he has been doing.
This strikes Siddhartha as ironic, since he had no
intention to talk about what he has learned, but simply wanted to test himself
and see what it would be like to be amongst lots of people again.
How can this sort of feeling be conveyed to others?
Siddhartha thinks of the changing causes and conditions
in the study and practice of emptiness. Through his spiritual practice, he has
transformed himself and how he interacts with others; he has a whole new life
and a new way of using his sense organs.
In a way, it all seems quite humorous, but in the end, how
could such an experience be put into words?
Perhaps all that can be done is to flash a knowing smile
when the flower is picked up and held aloft.
In the air is silence.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事31 Episode XXX I
悉達多的流浪故事31
日常生活形成的慣性，是一種安定，也是一種壓迫，日復一日的過去、現在、未來，形成一系列的輪轉，想要明天的人們，欣喜的期待，不願時光過去的人們，奮力沉膩，而想要現在的人們努力以赴的耕耘。
悉達多在腦海裡浮現人們在歷經生活的點滴，不管人們願不願意，生活的形態，讓人們樂在其中，或者身陷其中。
我就是想要你得到一點自由，悉達多持續跟「自己的身體對話」，現在你總算有力量，讓輪轉的時代巨輪，不能一直逼迫著你。
流浪也挺不錯的，你親眼看見很多事，更跟狼進行搏鬥，很多的經歷把你鍛鍊的很好，如果不去流浪怎能知道?
悉達多的大腦、身體互相感謝對方，感謝雙方的努力，讓自己有些自由，做到一些不被撼動，只一些，便如同甘露一般，滋養著自己，在生活裡從容。
半寄
The habits formed in daily life bring a sense of
stability, but can also be oppressive. In the constant passage of time formed
of events past, present, and future, those who want tomorrow have joyful
expectations; those who don’t want time to pass by wallow in the past; and
those who want the present fully apply themselves to the job at hand.
Pondering all the things encountered in life, whether
wanted or not, Siddhartha finally realized that we can find happiness in them,
or get trapped by them.
“I just want you to have a little freedom,” Siddhartha
continued to say to his body. “Now you finally have enough strength to not be
dragged about by the wheel of time.
“Wandering is quite good. You have seen a lot of things
with your own eyes, and you have even grappled with a wolf. If not for
wandering, how could you have possibly learned so much?”
Siddhartha's brain and body thank each other for their respective
efforts, providing him with enough freedom to attain some insights which are
modest but unshakable, and as nourishing as nectar, bringing about a calm and
composed approach to life.
---Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事30 Episode XXX
悉達多的流浪故事30
悉達多明顯感受到，自己跟以前不太一樣，一股不能被輕易撼動的力量，在他心裡產生，愈來愈清楚指導者教給他的學問，是一種可以被實踐出來的力量，不是只能供奉膜拜的經典。
過去生命裡的自我纏縛，人與人之間相互的影響，大部分時間都是矇懂的，很多時候對自己也常常束手無策。
一種無處不在的自我生存憂慮，在身體、心裡，到處充斥。
總算，費了那麼大的力氣，把自己搞定，滄桑喔 ! 沒想到搞定自己，「這件小事」，竟然很滄桑。
半寄
Episode XXX
Siddhartha clearly felt that there was something different
about himself. A force that could not be easily shaken had emerged in his
heart. It became increasingly clear that the knowledge taught to him by his root
teacher was something that had to be practiced, rather than worshiped like an
idol.
In the past, he had little understanding of the self-entanglement
and complex interpersonal dynamics that so often left him so very confused and at
a loss as to how to proceed.
“In the past, whenever you got sick,” Siddhartha said to his body, “I worried that you would never recover. And when you were studying, I worried that that if you didn’t do well and get good grades, then later on you wouldn’t be able make as much money as others make, so I started to feel that you were beyond hope. Ever since I became aware of your existence, apart from a few moments of happiness, I have been constantly worrying about you. And as I took you along on my wanderings, I continually thought about how it might be possible to make an end of my troubles and bring peace to body and mind.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事29 Episode XX IX
悉達多的流浪故事29
元素裡面有其他的元素，一層次一層次的拆解，因素齊全就可以組織，因素消失時，個體或整體都會散去，這些可以因為元素而存在的一切，也可以因為元素而消失的一切，是【空】在做媒介，沒有【空】的存在，元素只能是固定的個體，絕對無法轉變，組合或消失。
悉達多像發現新大陸般，狂奔的吼叫，我終於懂了，終於 !
因為【空】的存在，所有的事物都會不一樣，人不需要終止，卻一定需要『空』。
悉達多看看自己的身體，這個連入定都沒辦法解決的個體，『現在自己藉由空在拆解』、認識他，一個自己最最熟悉，也最陌生的他。
半寄
Episode XX IX
There are elements within the elements. Dismantling them layer by layer, when the elements are complete,then they can be combined. When the elements disperse, so
does the individual and the world. An object exists because its elements are
present, and it will disappear when these elements are absent. Within this
process, it is emptiness that is the medium. Without emptiness, there could
only be fixed entities, without the possibility of change, combination, or
disappearance.
As if he had discovered a new continent, Siddhartha ran
wildly, shouting, “Finally, I finally understand!”
It is this emptiness that accounts for all diversity.
Emptiness is what’s essential, not making an end of things.
Siddhartha looked at his body, realizing that samādhi
does not reveal its true nature; rather, it is emptiness that reveals the true
nature of the body. At this moment, his body seemed somehow both familiar and
foreign at the same time.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事28 Episode XX VIII
悉達多的流浪故事28
悉達多努力思考著人體需要的物質，與人體感官的「觸感」。
這段期間，他有點明白，自體的存活，意義不大，就算自己已經有了一些定力可以加被自己，然而，自體能延伸的範圍有限，他通過定力的經驗，清楚人不可能「只跟自己活著」，有了迦南多可以討論後，悉達多重新定義了人與人之間的對待問題。
人要活著就需要維生的供給，量大與量少都是一種需要，『所以誰也不能在這些依存中自在』，悉達多這般想著，一路走來，自己一直在面對問題，而解決問題，也讓自己不斷的看到新的視野，自己練習的入定，讓他的感官跟以前不太一樣，不用太費力思考，就能直接觸摸喜、怒、哀、樂。
直接！對！想終止什麼？也要直接的感受，想得太入神，悉達多彷彿看見自己變成食物，又一個元素，一個因素的拆解它，又像迦南多跟自己在辯論般，迦南多與自己似乎一樣。
「空」第一次在悉達多的感官裡升起。
半寄
Episode XX VIII
Siddhartha thought hard about the material basis of the
body, as well as how the sense organs make contact with their respective
objects.
During this period, he somewhat understood that the
survival of the body is of little significance. Even though he might use his samādhi
to extend the lifespan of his physical body, there were still limits. Also, from
his experience of samādhi, he knew that it was impossible to live totally
isolated from others, and through his discussions with Jananda he gained a new
understanding of the nature of interpersonal relationships.
Staying alive requires material support, though the
amount can vary depending on the individual. “So, inasmuch as we depend on
these things to stay alive, there is no freedom,” thought Siddhartha as he
walked along, grappling with problems, finding their solutions, and discovering
new perspectives. His experience of samādhi had transformed his sense
faculties, and with little effort he could directly touch joy, anger, sorrow, and
joy.
“Emptiness” arose in Siddhartha's senses for the first
time.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事27 Episode XX VII
悉達多的流浪故事27
人與人之間的撞擊，即使意見不一樣，還是讓大腦起了不同的反應，悉達多開心的笑開懷，哦！去淨土，他想一想，去淨土居住應該不錯，也不知是不是自己一直在找尋答案，悉達多對去淨土，還沒產生興趣，倒是迦南多提出的終止是不可能的！讓悉達多有點焦慮。
人體的各個器官由維持器官的基本條件，食物、水、空氣組成，悉達多對著迦南多說著他的想法，可是食物、水、空氣裡面都沒有人體的成分，如果修學裡面能夠突破這些因素的限制，或者對這些因素的再加以認識，一定可以做些什麼？！只是到底能做些什麼？他自己也還不清楚。
迦南多也無法想像，離開維持人體需要的一切供給時，人體會怎樣？我可以試著分解這些因素，看有沒有可能突破自己對「人體」原先的認知，悉達多想著應該怎麼進入下一個階段的突破。
有了夥伴，即使意見不同，悉達多覺得至少有討論的對象，感覺踏實很多，那是他以前不知道的。
半寄
Episode XX VII
With regards to conflict and differences of opinion,
Siddhartha now reacted differently, bringing a smile of joy to his face. As for
being reborn in the pure land, while it sounded all very good, he wasn’t sure
it was the answer he was looking for. Thus he wasn’t interested in being reborn
in the pure land, and wondered if it was even possible.
Nor was Jananda able to say what would happen to the body
if it lacked the elements that support it. Soon Siddhartha decided to try to analyze
these factors in an attempt to break through his current understanding of the
body. Thus he began to think about how he might enter the next stage of his
search.
Siddhartha found that discussing things with a
like-minded companion, even one with different views, helped him to clarify his
ideas, which is something he lacked while living the life of a solitary
wanderer.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事26 Episode XX IV
悉達多的流浪故事26
在一條通往人群的路上，悉達多遇見一位想去尋找修學者的人，迦南多，迦南多博學多聞，讓悉達多想跟他一起生活與繼續討論自己沒有明白的生命。
當悉達多與迦南多討論生命的時刻，悉達多發現自己的思考開始敏捷，以前跟隨指導者的日子，是一股腦的吸收指導者給他的教導，那些教導他很少去想，怎麼做才能達到指導者說的境界，現在迦南多會質疑他說的話 ? 甚至堅決否認生命可以終止，迦南多想要的世界是一種乾淨的淨土，不是終止。
剛從練習定力出來的悉達多，還不能反應迦南多的問題，卻明顯感受到，在與人互動下，大腦明顯不一樣，一個人的生活，自問自答，現在耳朵聽著迦南多的話，腦袋的想法跟著他轉，悉達多再次去觸摸自己跟別人相互依存的關係。
半寄
Episode XX IV
On the road leading to a town, Siddhartha came upon a wandering
sādhu named Jananda. Impressed with Jananda’s erudition and extensive knowledge
of spiritual matters, Siddhartha decides to stay with him so as to have an
opportunity to increase his understanding.
While discussing with Jananda various topics relating to
spiritual practice, Siddhartha’s ability to think becomes more nimble. While
studying with his root teacher, the approach was to passively and
unreflectively take in what he was taught, without considering just how one was
to attain the states of being his teacher was describing. With Jananda it was
different; Jananda called into question what Siddhartha had been previously
taught, including the idea that life could be brought to an end. Instead, Jananda
aspired to attain a type of pure land, wherein life could be extended
indefinitely.
Due to the ongoing after-effects of his recent entry into
deep samādhi, Siddhartha was unable to fully respond to Jananda’s questions.
Yet he clearly felt that there was something different about his mind when he
was interacting with others. While living alone, he answered his own questions,
but now, as he listened to Jananda speak, he followed along, leading Siddhartha
to reevaluate how he interacted with others.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
‘
悉達多的流浪故事25 Episode XX V
悉達多的流浪故事25
身體的喜悅讓悉達多不願多吃進食物，深怕進食多了會干擾身體的定力。
悉達多走出去，試著跟人群相處，發現一定力量的安定，讓他遠離人群的干擾，不再容易被一件衣服矇騙，定力產生的喜悅，讓悉達多快樂的跟「自己」相處。
但是，自己還是沒有終止?
一些日子後，悉達多問著自己，就在同時，悉達多發覺，低能量的進食，讓缺乏營養補給的身體、開始不聽使喚，大腦不太聽從自己的指揮，身體也走不了多遠。大腦不能去思維自己想理解的事情，跟人們的互動剩下只能聽，他的世界，只剩下「定力安慰著自己。」
半寄
Episode XX V
The joy he felt in his body made Siddhartha reluctant to increase his food intake, fearing that it would interfere with his concentration.Afterwards, whenever Siddhartha was amongst others, he
discovered that he had a certain kind of stability that allowed him to remain
unperturbed in all circumstances. He could no longer get caught up in a piece
of clothing, and the joy generated by samādhi allowed him to happily get along
with himself.
Nonetheless, a few days later, he became aware that he
still hadn’t made an end of things.
Around the same time, Siddhartha discovered that fasting
reduced his control over his body and mind, and made it difficult to walk very
far. Moreover, his ability to contemplate was impaired, and in his interactions
with others all he could do is listen. His world had been reduced to the
comfort that comes from samādhi.
原本以為攀登到一定的「定點」，應該可以解開生命的迷底，定力的產生讓自己有脫胎換骨的經驗，然而生命如何不受牽引、甚至是終結一切的苦，還是沒有答案。
在一個人的歲月裡，身體的器官反而清楚展現，身體的器官像工具，入定的體驗讓悉達多完全清楚，沒有了器官的工具組合，讓靈魂像沒有房子住的人，「只能漂盪」，雖然定力可以做依靠，但房子沒了！定力仍是無法展開他的能量。
He had earlier thought that attaining a certain level of samādhi
would reveal the mystery of life and bring about a kind of spiritual rebirth.
However, he was still subject to the endless vicissitudes of life, and he had
yet to make an end of all suffering.
The organs of the body are like tools, and the experience
of trance made Siddhartha realize that without the sense organs, the mind has
nowhere to dwell, setting it adrift. Even when one’s concentration is solid, since
it is ephemeral, it can’t be made the basis for developing one’s capacity for
gnosis.
As Siddhartha gradually increased his food intake, his
body steadily gained strength. With the experience of samādhi under his belt,
he set out in search of answers to his remaining questions.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事24 Episode XX IV
悉達多的流浪故事24
靜止不動「入定」的肉體，讓身體需要的能量燃燒，降到最低點。
直到癱倒下來，才發覺肚子又開始抗議，在幾近最低點的燃燒裡，身體的感覺依然持續著。
而悉達多卻發現，經過「入定」的訓練，身體的感覺起了變化，那不再是一般靜坐後的寧靜而已，是一個小孩轉變成大人的觸覺，小孩的身體像被脫下來的衣服，不再適合穿在大人的身上，好奇妙的感覺啊! 悉達多驚奇的叫著，完全忘記肚子的叫聲。
半寄
Episode XX IV
While in samādhi, the body consumes very little energy.
It wasn't until he collapsed that Siddhartha realized
that his stomach had begun to protest again, for even when in a state of
suspended animation, his body still remained sensate.
Through his training in samādhi, Siddhartha’s sense
faculties had changed. It wasn’t merely the sense of tranquility which comes
from sitting in meditation. It was more like a child growing up and exchanging
the clothes he had outgrown for those of an adult. “Amazing!” declared Siddhartha,
completely forgetting the sound of his stomach.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事23 Episode XX III
悉達多的流浪故事23
悉達多積極進行各方面的準備工作，「徹底要試驗終止的生命」，他一方面開始慢慢的減少進食，一方面藉著進食的減少，開始訓練自己集中精神。
進食減少讓肚子起來抗議，悉達多沒理會肚子，持續的降低飲食，大腦缺乏供給也開始罷工，悉達多也沒接受大腦的罷工 ! 更加緊微弱的力氣，訓練集中精神。
悉達多整個感官世界，隨著他努力的練習，全部化成「定力」的世界，偶而忘神了，竟然發覺時間給他的感覺不一樣，時間在他的身體裡變得緩慢，緩慢到時間是不存在的，就連肉體的感覺，也不再強烈。
不知過了多久?鳥的叫聲喚起了他，一股強烈的疲憊感侵襲著悉達多，一直盤坐著的悉達多，啊 ! 的一聲，癱倒在坐床邊，下意識的看了一下時間，不能相信，十天 ! 整整十天，在自己沒任何感覺中，十天像幾個小時般，過去了 !
半寄
Episode XX III
Siddhartha soon set about actively making preparations to thoroughly test the end of life. He began to slowly reduce his food intake, and by doing so, he began to train himself to concentrate.
When his reduced food intake caused his stomach to protest,
Siddhartha ignored its pangs and continued to eat less and less. Likewise, when
his brain functioning became impaired due to a lack of nutrition, he was
undeterred, mustering up whatever energy he still had, and using it to shore up
his concentration.
One month passed, and then another, until Siddhartha was
reduced to skin and bones, yet his body was being maintained by a certain
invisible force. Siddhartha knew very well that by gradually focusing his mind
he would eventually attain the rarefied state of concentration know as samādhi.
becoming so slow that it ceased to exist, even as his
physical sensation became increasingly faint.
After a long time sitting cross-legged, he noticed the
chirping of the birds, and a strong sense of fatigue came over him. Uttering a
long ahhhh, he collapsed beside his meditation seat, and subconsciously
realized that he had been seated in the same position for ten days! Ten whole
days, without feeling anything; ten days passed like a few hours!
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
悉達多的流浪故事22 Episode XX II
悉達多的流浪故事22
悉達多，學習觀察、了解人們的生活，發現大部份人都很忙碌，家庭裡有家庭需要的運作、維生的方法，除非家庭的生活不能滿足人們的需求，不然，是不可能也不必要想到有關於生命，「起點與終點」。
生命裡需要的明天，讓每個人都焦慮的想知道，明天會不會更好?就像村民常問他的「老師，我應該怎麼做,才能擺脫現在的低潮 ?」或者「老師，我去祈求有智慧，有能力的神，神會滿足我的要求吧 ?!」村民一邊說著，一邊給自己回答，悉達多大部份的時候，只是個傾聽者。
現在離開村落，悉達多感覺到在被村民指責的時候，他沒有要「終止生命的意願」，在狼肚子裡被激起的求生與不甘被動物吃盡的反擊，都看不到生命願意終止的痕跡。
在什麼情況下，生命才會想要自己終止 ?
悉達多決定自己親身體會終止的生命。
半寄
From his studies and observations, Siddhartha had gained
some insight into the lives of others. He had discovered that most people are
very busy. Each family has its own needs and ways of providing for them. But if
these needs go unmet, then it’s impossible and unnecessary to think about the
beginning and end of life.
After leaving the village, Siddhartha realized that when
he was being criticized by the villagers, he didn’t feel inclined to “make an
end of life,” and that any such inclination could not have been present when he
broke out of the wolf's belly.
Under what circumstances would someone want to end his
own life?
Siddhartha decided to experience for himself the end of
life.
Master Ban Ji
Translated by Ken Kraynak
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