惡緣Challenging Negative Karmic Ties

 惡緣

讀者說：我沒有提到跟父母的惡緣怎麼處理？

面對惡緣除了要有智慧以外，還要提高警覺，因為我們的社會一直是隱惡揚善的，尤其在宗教這區域，都不希望去提到與父母的惡緣，

但這也無法抹煞，惡緣家庭的悲劇存在。

（不要一廂情願，認為家庭惡緣就是去還債，

那是錯誤的，

你只會不斷被剝削，一定要有大腦）

 

人與人的惡緣其實無時無刻都在的，我認為面對惡緣需要讓自己備足智慧資糧還要冷靜有耐心的應付，

 

通過這種考驗不只是成為好人而已，我看都已經堅毅不拔而可以很好的立足於世上了！

 

社會上也提供了很多有關於這一方面的協助，

人當然沒辦法都是堅強的，必要的時候就求助於社會資源吧！

半寄

 

惡緣回應

文/郭芳純

 

父母親是生我們的人跟他有惡緣，最好是這一輩子做一個舒緩讓自己好過。

 

1.如果可以跟父母親稍微先試水溫，稍微聊一下過去不舒服的點，我想有幫助父母（也許父母也想表達那時候的不得不或困難點，不是有意如此或是抗拒反駁，．．．都有可能）；

對自己有幫助，再次敍述也再次讓自己清楚自己的痛點及淡化。但是有些父母親是不能聊的，所以要聊第一次，你只能輕輕帶到，看他們的反應如何。只能輕輕說出你個人的感覺。

 

2. 如果父母親可以聊，再找時間好好說，你也能體會他們的不得不及無奈，但自己那時侯是那麼無助且受傷🤕，現在長大了情況也改變了，也希望自己和自己和解，與父母和解。

 

3. 如果父母親是不能聊的，沒有能力回顧只能用抗拒的方式保護他們自己！那我們就要回到自我療傷的方向，不斷的自我覺察、對話、同理，一次又一次接受自己的情緒，讓自己情感抒發走過，加上有力量無常無我的概念反思撞擊，讓自己往前走，不駐留過去，一段時間過後，驀然回首，原來你已經又往前走了一大段了，意味著進步成長了！行到水窮處做看雲起時！

 

Challenging Negative Karmic Ties

 

A reader asked why I didn’t discuss how to deal with negative karmic ties with one’s parents.

 

When we face painful relationships, we need wisdom and alertness. Society often avoids mentioning problems within families, especially in religious communities. But difficult family situations are real and cannot be ignored.
(Do not assume that negative family ties are simply debts to repay. That is misconception. You may end up repeatedly exploited—please think critically.)

 

Negative karmic relationships appear constantly between people. Dealing with them requires patience, calmness, and enough wisdom.

 

Overcoming such challenges doesn’t only make you virtuous; it also equips you with real strength and resilience to stand firmly in the world.

 

There are many social services available to help. No one can be strong all the time, so reach out for support when you need it.

 

Master Banji

 

 

My Thoughts on Negative Karmic Ties - By Kuo Fang-Chun

 

Since our parents are the ones who gave us life, if we have negative ties with them, the best course is to find a way to alleviate the tension this lifetime to make life better for ourselves.

1. Start by testing the waters. If possible, try to gently talk to your parents about past things that made you feel bad. This might help your parents (maybe they want to explain their difficulties or why they acted that way—it might not have been on purpose or a rejection... all possibilities exist). This also helps you by talking about it, making your pain points clearer, and making them hurt less. But, be careful: some parents are simply not capable of having this conversation. Therefore, the first attempt must be very gentle. See how they react. You should only lightly mention express your personal feelings.

 

2. If they are willing to talk, find a good time to talk honestly. You might understand their difficulties and sadness, and you can share how helpless and hurtyou felt back then. Now that you are grown up and things are different, the goal is to make peace with yourself and with your parents.

 

3. If they cannot talk—if they are incapable of self-reflection and only protect themselves by pushing you away—then you must focus on healing yourself. This means constantly being aware of your feelings, talking to yourself, and being kind to yourself. You need to accept and let your emotions out, over and over. By using the powerful ideas of everything changing (impermanence) and not having a permanent self (non-self) to change your thoughts, you can move forward and not stay stuck in the past. After some time, when you look back, you will realize you have moved a long way ahead—that is real progress and growth! (Walk until the end of the water, then sit down and watch the clouds rise.)(The saying means: When you've done all you can, stop and look for new possibilities.)