悉達多的流浪故事30 Episode XXX

悉達多的流浪故事30

悉達多明顯感受到，自己跟以前不太一樣，一股不能被輕易撼動的力量，在他心裡產生，愈來愈清楚指導者教給他的學問，是一種可以被實踐出來的力量，不是只能供奉膜拜的經典。

過去生命裡的自我纏縛，人與人之間相互的影響，大部分時間都是矇懂的，很多時候對自己也常常束手無策。

 

以前你生病的時候，我好害怕，悉達多跟自己【身體】說著 : 害怕你從此沒辦法好了 ! 你讀書的時候，我也怕，怕你書讀的不好，後來，你去賺錢，我一聽說別人賺錢的數目，更是對你絕望，覺得你完了，自從大腦意識到你的存在，我除了短暫的快樂，其餘時間都在憂慮著你，還帶著你到處流浪，一心想著怎樣才能解決我們的麻煩，讓【大腦，身體】都得到一種安定。

一種無處不在的自我生存憂慮，在身體、心裡，到處充斥。

總算，費了那麼大的力氣，把自己搞定，滄桑喔 ! 沒想到搞定自己，「這件小事」，竟然很滄桑。

半寄

Episode XXX

Siddhartha clearly felt that there was something different about himself. A force that could not be easily shaken had emerged in his heart. It became increasingly clear that the knowledge taught to him by his root teacher was something that had to be practiced, rather than worshiped like an idol.

In the past, he had little understanding of the self-entanglement and complex interpersonal dynamics that so often left him so very confused and at a loss as to how to proceed.

“In the past, whenever you got sick,” Siddhartha said to his body, “I worried that you would never recover. And when you were studying, I worried that that if you didn’t do well and get good grades, then later on you wouldn’t be able make as much money as others make, so I started to feel that you were beyond hope. Ever since I became aware of your existence, apart from a few moments of happiness, I have been constantly worrying about you. And as I took you along on my wanderings, I continually thought about how it might be possible to make an end of my troubles and bring peace to body and mind.

After making every endeavor and experiencing all the vicissitudes of life, I’ve finally figured out who I really am. It is hard to imagine such a small matter would be so painful and exhausting.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak  

 

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事29 Episode XX IX

悉達多的流浪故事29

元素裡面有其他的元素，一層次一層次的拆解，因素齊全就可以組織，因素消失時，個體或整體都會散去，這些可以因為元素而存在的一切，也可以因為元素而消失的一切，是【空】在做媒介，沒有【空】的存在，元素只能是固定的個體，絕對無法轉變，組合或消失。

 

悉達多像發現新大陸般，狂奔的吼叫，我終於懂了，終於 !

 

因為【空】的存在，所有的事物都會不一樣，人不需要終止，卻一定需要『空』。

 

悉達多看看自己的身體，這個連入定都沒辦法解決的個體，『現在自己藉由空在拆解』、認識他，一個自己最最熟悉，也最陌生的他。

半寄

Episode XX IX

There are elements within the elements. Dismantling them layer by layer, when the elements are complete, 

then they can be combined. When the elements disperse, so does the individual and the world. An object exists because its elements are present, and it will disappear when these elements are absent. Within this process, it is emptiness that is the medium. Without emptiness, there could only be fixed entities, without the possibility of change, combination, or disappearance.

As if he had discovered a new continent, Siddhartha ran wildly, shouting, “Finally, I finally understand!”

It is this emptiness that accounts for all diversity. Emptiness is what’s essential, not making an end of things.

Siddhartha looked at his body, realizing that samādhi does not reveal its true nature; rather, it is emptiness that reveals the true nature of the body. At this moment, his body seemed somehow both familiar and foreign at the same time.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak  

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事28 Episode XX VIII

悉達多的流浪故事28

悉達多努力思考著人體需要的物質，與人體感官的「觸感」。

 

這段期間，他有點明白，自體的存活，意義不大，就算自己已經有了一些定力可以加被自己，然而，自體能延伸的範圍有限，他通過定力的經驗，清楚人不可能「只跟自己活著」，有了迦南多可以討論後，悉達多重新定義了人與人之間的對待問題。

人要活著就需要維生的供給，量大與量少都是一種需要，『所以誰也不能在這些依存中自在』，悉達多這般想著，一路走來，自己一直在面對問題，而解決問題，也讓自己不斷的看到新的視野，自己練習的入定，讓他的感官跟以前不太一樣，不用太費力思考，就能直接觸摸喜、怒、哀、樂。

直接！對！想終止什麼？也要直接的感受，想得太入神，悉達多彷彿看見自己變成食物，又一個元素，一個因素的拆解它，又像迦南多跟自己在辯論般，迦南多與自己似乎一樣。

「空」第一次在悉達多的感官裡升起。

半寄

Episode XX VIII

Siddhartha thought hard about the material basis of the body, as well as how the sense organs make contact with their respective objects.

During this period, he somewhat understood that the survival of the body is of little significance. Even though he might use his samādhi to extend the lifespan of his physical body, there were still limits. Also, from his experience of samādhi, he knew that it was impossible to live totally isolated from others, and through his discussions with Jananda he gained a new understanding of the nature of interpersonal relationships.

Staying alive requires material support, though the amount can vary depending on the individual. “So, inasmuch as we depend on these things to stay alive, there is no freedom,” thought Siddhartha as he walked along, grappling with problems, finding their solutions, and discovering new perspectives. His experience of samādhi had transformed his sense faculties, and with little effort he could directly touch joy, anger, sorrow, and joy.

“Directly! That’s it! What is there to make an end of? It has to be directly felt.” Thinking so absorbedly, it seemed to Siddhartha that he was turning into food, being dismantled and digested one element at a time. It was as if he were debating with Jananda, and he and Jananda seemed to be the same.

“Emptiness” arose in Siddhartha's senses for the first time.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事27 Episode XX VII

悉達多的流浪故事27

人與人之間的撞擊，即使意見不一樣，還是讓大腦起了不同的反應，悉達多開心的笑開懷，哦！去淨土，他想一想，去淨土居住應該不錯，也不知是不是自己一直在找尋答案，悉達多對去淨土，還沒產生興趣，倒是迦南多提出的終止是不可能的！讓悉達多有點焦慮。

人體的各個器官由維持器官的基本條件，食物、水、空氣組成，悉達多對著迦南多說著他的想法，可是食物、水、空氣裡面都沒有人體的成分，如果修學裡面能夠突破這些因素的限制，或者對這些因素的再加以認識，一定可以做些什麼？！只是到底能做些什麼？他自己也還不清楚。

迦南多也無法想像，離開維持人體需要的一切供給時，人體會怎樣？我可以試著分解這些因素，看有沒有可能突破自己對「人體」原先的認知，悉達多想著應該怎麼進入下一個階段的突破。

有了夥伴，即使意見不同，悉達多覺得至少有討論的對象，感覺踏實很多，那是他以前不知道的。

半寄

Episode XX VII

With regards to conflict and differences of opinion, Siddhartha now reacted differently, bringing a smile of joy to his face. As for being reborn in the pure land, while it sounded all very good, he wasn’t sure it was the answer he was looking for. Thus he wasn’t interested in being reborn in the pure land, and wondered if it was even possible.

Siddhartha attentively listened as Jananda taught that the organs of the body are supported by such factors as food, water, and air. Yet he wondered how this could be, since there was no body to be found in any of these factors, nor did he see any benefit in gaining a deeper understanding of these factors or transcending them.

Nor was Jananda able to say what would happen to the body if it lacked the elements that support it. Soon Siddhartha decided to try to analyze these factors in an attempt to break through his current understanding of the body. Thus he began to think about how he might enter the next stage of his search.

Siddhartha found that discussing things with a like-minded companion, even one with different views, helped him to clarify his ideas, which is something he lacked while living the life of a solitary wanderer.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事26 Episode XX IV

悉達多的流浪故事26

在一條通往人群的路上，悉達多遇見一位想去尋找修學者的人，迦南多，迦南多博學多聞，讓悉達多想跟他一起生活與繼續討論自己沒有明白的生命。

當悉達多與迦南多討論生命的時刻，悉達多發現自己的思考開始敏捷，以前跟隨指導者的日子，是一股腦的吸收指導者給他的教導，那些教導他很少去想，怎麼做才能達到指導者說的境界，現在迦南多會質疑他說的話 ? 甚至堅決否認生命可以終止，迦南多想要的世界是一種乾淨的淨土，不是終止。生命可以在淨土裡得到延續，決不是終止，迦南多說。

剛從練習定力出來的悉達多，還不能反應迦南多的問題，卻明顯感受到，在與人互動下，大腦明顯不一樣，一個人的生活，自問自答，現在耳朵聽著迦南多的話，腦袋的想法跟著他轉，悉達多再次去觸摸自己跟別人相互依存的關係。

半寄

Episode XX IV

On the road leading to a town, Siddhartha came upon a wandering sādhu named Jananda. Impressed with Jananda’s erudition and extensive knowledge of spiritual matters, Siddhartha decides to stay with him so as to have an opportunity to increase his understanding.

While discussing with Jananda various topics relating to spiritual practice, Siddhartha’s ability to think becomes more nimble. While studying with his root teacher, the approach was to passively and unreflectively take in what he was taught, without considering just how one was to attain the states of being his teacher was describing. With Jananda it was different; Jananda called into question what Siddhartha had been previously taught, including the idea that life could be brought to an end. Instead, Jananda aspired to attain a type of pure land, wherein life could be extended indefinitely.

Due to the ongoing after-effects of his recent entry into deep samādhi, Siddhartha was unable to fully respond to Jananda’s questions. Yet he clearly felt that there was something different about his mind when he was interacting with others. While living alone, he answered his own questions, but now, as he listened to Jananda speak, he followed along, leading Siddhartha to reevaluate how he interacted with others.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

‘

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事25 Episode XX V

悉達多的流浪故事25

身體的喜悅讓悉達多不願多吃進食物，深怕進食多了會干擾身體的定力。

 

悉達多走出去，試著跟人群相處，發現一定力量的安定，讓他遠離人群的干擾，不再容易被一件衣服矇騙，定力產生的喜悅，讓悉達多快樂的跟「自己」相處。

 

但是，自己還是沒有終止?

一些日子後，悉達多問著自己，就在同時，悉達多發覺，低能量的進食，讓缺乏營養補給的身體、開始不聽使喚，大腦不太聽從自己的指揮，身體也走不了多遠。大腦不能去思維自己想理解的事情，跟人們的互動剩下只能聽，他的世界，只剩下「定力安慰著自己。」

半寄

Episode XX V

The joy he felt in his body made Siddhartha reluctant to increase his food intake, fearing that it would interfere with his concentration.

Afterwards, whenever Siddhartha was amongst others, he discovered that he had a certain kind of stability that allowed him to remain unperturbed in all circumstances. He could no longer get caught up in a piece of clothing, and the joy generated by samādhi allowed him to happily get along with himself.

Nonetheless, a few days later, he became aware that he still hadn’t made an end of things.

Around the same time, Siddhartha discovered that fasting reduced his control over his body and mind, and made it difficult to walk very far. Moreover, his ability to contemplate was impaired, and in his interactions with others all he could do is listen. His world had been reduced to the comfort that comes from samādhi.

 

原本以為攀登到一定的「定點」，應該可以解開生命的迷底，定力的產生讓自己有脫胎換骨的經驗，然而生命如何不受牽引、甚至是終結一切的苦，還是沒有答案。

 

在一個人的歲月裡，身體的器官反而清楚展現，身體的器官像工具，入定的體驗讓悉達多完全清楚，沒有了器官的工具組合，讓靈魂像沒有房子住的人，「只能漂盪」，雖然定力可以做依靠，但房子沒了！定力仍是無法展開他的能量。

 

悉達多慢慢吃多一點食物，身體逐漸有了力氣，帶著定力的體驗，他決定離開練習入定的地方，去尋求他還沒明白的問題。

He had earlier thought that attaining a certain level of samādhi would reveal the mystery of life and bring about a kind of spiritual rebirth. However, he was still subject to the endless vicissitudes of life, and he had yet to make an end of all suffering.

The organs of the body are like tools, and the experience of trance made Siddhartha realize that without the sense organs, the mind has nowhere to dwell, setting it adrift. Even when one’s concentration is solid, since it is ephemeral, it can’t be made the basis for developing one’s capacity for gnosis.

As Siddhartha gradually increased his food intake, his body steadily gained strength. With the experience of samādhi under his belt, he set out in search of answers to his remaining questions.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事24 Episode XX IV

悉達多的流浪故事24

靜止不動「入定」的肉體，讓身體需要的能量燃燒，降到最低點。

 

直到癱倒下來，才發覺肚子又開始抗議，在幾近最低點的燃燒裡，身體的感覺依然持續著。

 

而悉達多卻發現，經過「入定」的訓練，身體的感覺起了變化，那不再是一般靜坐後的寧靜而已，是一個小孩轉變成大人的觸覺，小孩的身體像被脫下來的衣服，不再適合穿在大人的身上，好奇妙的感覺啊! 悉達多驚奇的叫著，完全忘記肚子的叫聲。

半寄

Episode XX IV

While in samādhi, the body consumes very little energy.

It wasn't until he collapsed that Siddhartha realized that his stomach had begun to protest again, for even when in a state of suspended animation, his body still remained sensate.

Through his training in samādhi, Siddhartha’s sense faculties had changed. It wasn’t merely the sense of tranquility which comes from sitting in meditation. It was more like a child growing up and exchanging the clothes he had outgrown for those of an adult. “Amazing!” declared Siddhartha, completely forgetting the sound of his stomach.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事23 Episode XX III

悉達多的流浪故事23

悉達多積極進行各方面的準備工作，「徹底要試驗終止的生命」，他一方面開始慢慢的減少進食，一方面藉著進食的減少，開始訓練自己集中精神。

進食減少讓肚子起來抗議，悉達多沒理會肚子，持續的降低飲食，大腦缺乏供給也開始罷工，悉達多也沒接受大腦的罷工 ! 更加緊微弱的力氣，訓練集中精神。

一個月，兩個月过去，悉達多只剩下皮包骨，但他的身體明顯有一股安定不動的力量支撐著，悉達多很清楚他慢慢的做到持續集中精神後，會出現一種精神體，名字叫「定力」。

悉達多整個感官世界，隨著他努力的練習，全部化成「定力」的世界，偶而忘神了，竟然發覺時間給他的感覺不一樣，時間在他的身體裡變得緩慢，緩慢到時間是不存在的，就連肉體的感覺，也不再強烈。

不知過了多久?鳥的叫聲喚起了他，一股強烈的疲憊感侵襲著悉達多，一直盤坐著的悉達多，啊 ! 的一聲，癱倒在坐床邊，下意識的看了一下時間，不能相信，十天 ! 整整十天，在自己沒任何感覺中，十天像幾個小時般，過去了 !

半寄

Episode XX III

Siddhartha soon set about actively making preparations to thoroughly test the end of life. He began to slowly reduce his food intake, and by doing so, he began to train himself to concentrate.

When his reduced food intake caused his stomach to protest, Siddhartha ignored its pangs and continued to eat less and less. Likewise, when his brain functioning became impaired due to a lack of nutrition, he was undeterred, mustering up whatever energy he still had, and using it to shore up his concentration.

One month passed, and then another, until Siddhartha was reduced to skin and bones, yet his body was being maintained by a certain invisible force. Siddhartha knew very well that by gradually focusing his mind he would eventually attain the rarefied state of concentration know as samādhi.

As he continued to practice in this way, Siddhartha's sense faculties became razor sharp. Occasionally, he lost consciousness and his experience of time shifted. He felt in his body that time had somehow slowed down, 

becoming so slow that it ceased to exist, even as his physical sensation became increasingly faint.          

After a long time sitting cross-legged, he noticed the chirping of the birds, and a strong sense of fatigue came over him. Uttering a long ahhhh, he collapsed beside his meditation seat, and subconsciously realized that he had been seated in the same position for ten days! Ten whole days, without feeling anything; ten days passed like a few hours!

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事22 Episode XX II

悉達多的流浪故事22

悉達多，學習觀察、了解人們的生活，發現大部份人都很忙碌，家庭裡有家庭需要的運作、維生的方法，除非家庭的生活不能滿足人們的需求，不然，是不可能也不必要想到有關於生命，「起點與終點」。

 

生命裡需要的明天，讓每個人都焦慮的想知道，明天會不會更好?就像村民常問他的「老師，我應該怎麼做,才能擺脫現在的低潮 ?」或者「老師，我去祈求有智慧，有能力的神，神會滿足我的要求吧 ?!」村民一邊說著，一邊給自己回答，悉達多大部份的時候，只是個傾聽者。

現在離開村落，悉達多感覺到在被村民指責的時候，他沒有要「終止生命的意願」，在狼肚子裡被激起的求生與不甘被動物吃盡的反擊，都看不到生命願意終止的痕跡。

在什麼情況下，生命才會想要自己終止 ?

悉達多決定自己親身體會終止的生命。

半寄

From his studies and observations, Siddhartha had gained some insight into the lives of others. He had discovered that most people are very busy. Each family has its own needs and ways of providing for them. But if these needs go unmet, then it’s impossible and unnecessary to think about the beginning and end of life.Life requires a tomorrow, as can be seen by the way in which people are always anxiously wondering what tomorrow has in store for them. This is why the villagers were always asking Siddhartha such questions as, “Teacher, what should I do to get past my doldrums?” or “Teacher, if I supplicate such and such a wise and powerful deity, will my request be granted?” They basically were answering their own questions as they spoke, and most of the time Siddhartha simply listened.

After leaving the village, Siddhartha realized that when he was being criticized by the villagers, he didn’t feel inclined to “make an end of life,” and that any such inclination could not have been present when he broke out of the wolf's belly.

Under what circumstances would someone want to end his own life?

Siddhartha decided to experience for himself the end of life.

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事21 Episode XX I

悉達多的流浪故事21

沒辦法「終止」的人生，祈禱、祈求替代遠離與終止。

沒錯！當人們問起悉達多，有關延續性的生命時，悉達多像觸電般跳了起來，「延續性」這個想法，還沒在他的腦海出現過，一直以來他都在研究終止性，再一次悉達多面臨更大的衝擊。

終止的生命，尋求離去，甚至是想盡辦法研究，要如何終止生命之苦，就是不想停留於人的世界。人的世界苦與難太多了。

他從來沒意識到，大部份的人們，是尋求怎麼好好活下去的。

而且自己也還沒離開人的世界，自己的身體就在跟人相互的依靠間活著，哪怕是把生活的需求降到最低，還是跟人依靠著，如果一切得到終止，代表跟人群的關係畫上休止符，哪曾經的依存是什麼意義? 不是一場夢吧 !

悉達多最無法接受夢的說法，那跟吃聖旨沒什麼兩樣，自己被狼吃進肚子过，被吞噬的感覺讓他很清楚，那不是一場夢。如果自己沒用盡全力抵抗，就是一場結結實實的獵奪。

悉達多試著打開他的視窗，看看別人的生活。

半寄

If there’s no way to make an end of things, then perhaps prayer will work.

That’s right! When people asked Siddhartha about the continuity of life, Siddhartha was dumbfounded, for the idea of ​​continuity had never occurred to him. All along he had been fixated on the end of things, so the idea of continuity gave him quite a shock.

Making an end of suffering amounts to leaving the world with all its attendant tribulation.

He never realized that most people are looking for a way to live well.

Moreover, while one is still in the world, one lives in dependence on others. Even if one reduces the demands of life to a minimum, one still has to rely on others to some extent. If everything were to come to an end, it would amount to ending one’s relationships with others, in which case one’s previous interdependence would have been nothing but a dream.

Siddhartha could not accept that it’s ​​a dream, which for him is the same as eating shengzhi. He had been eaten by the wolf, and the feeling of being devoured made him certain that it was not a dream.

If he didn't resist with all his strength, he would not have survived the ordeal.

Siddhartha was trying to open a window onto the world, so as to see the lives of others.

 Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak   

 

 

 

 

 

悉達多的流浪故事20 The Wandering Adventures of Siddhartha Episode XX

悉達多的流浪故事20

悉達多修學的學問，都是教人把有形的一切，做個終止。因為擁有，讓人擔心，擁有一切的時候，人不放心，怕會失去，失去一切的時候，更慘 !

會對失去感到寢食難安，不知今日何日！人在擁有與失去之間掙扎，這些苦痛來源，涵蓋人與物質，當然必須想辦法終止，這種無論人們怎麼做都不能安寧的世界，唯一的方法，便是終止它。

剛接觸到這門學問時，悉達多興奮到廢寢忘食，恨不得用一下子的時間，就能停止生命裡一切的苦難，等學了一些這方面的知識，更是一股腦的想讓全世界都知道，苦難是可以終止的。然而他的傳播路才開始，便遇到村民的責難。在村莊裡沒有機會正式給村民上課，但跟村民的互動，也讓他點點滴滴知道人們的想法。

一些失去親人、財富的村民，並沒有因為失去，而接受缺失的痛苦，反而很想追回自己的親人、財富。一些得到財富的人們，也沒因為得到而感到滿足，人們的情感世界大約是這個輪廓。

誰會想要終止？

半寄

The main thing Siddhartha has learned is about how to end whatever  is visible . Possessing them brings worry; even if you had everything you could possibly want, your worry would be even greater, since you would have all the more to lose!

Worrying about losing your possessions can disrupt your sleep and appetite, and can even make you forget what day it is! The struggle to get things and keep them is the source of a lot of anguish. In such a state of affairs, the only hope for inner peace is to cut off one’s attachment to these things.

When he first encountered this teaching, Siddhartha was so excited that he forgot to eat and sleep. He wished that he could quickly end all the suffering in his life. After gaining sufficient knowledge in this area, he wanted to let the whole world know that suffering can be ended.

However, since he was still in the early stages of his teaching career, he encountered criticism from the villagers. Although he had no opportunity to give formal teachings in the village, from his interactions with the villagers he had some understanding of how they thought. The villagers bascially fell into two categories: those who had suffered the loss of property or a loved one, and were never able to come to terms with the loss, and those who had gained wealth, yet were dissatisfied.

Who was ready to make an end of all this?

Master Ban Ji

Translated by Ken Kraynak