第三個變化 Third Change

Today, we observed the third round of our on-going saga of husband vs. wife match.

今天，我們又有了夫妻戰，第三輪。
 
The background of our fight was not important. But it was kitchen-scraps that caused the fight.

吵架的背景不是很重要，只能說是「廚餘」所引發的。

I was making dinner, and generated some kitchen-scrap. In Taiwan, kitchen-scraps must be placed into a different container in the trash collection area, and I find it a pain and annoyance to do so. It was not one of my favorite things to do.

當時，我正在煮飯，產生一些廚餘。在台灣，有專用容器在我們住的大樓回收廚餘。我覺得倒廚餘很煩，不是我喜愛做的事。

I found the mess in the kitchen annoying, so I asked my wife to take the kitchen-scrap to the trash area. She did not want to do so, because I had not finish making dinner, and if I generated more kitchen-scrap, she might need to go one more time. She obviously does not like to visit the trash area either.

我覺得廚房很亂，所以問我太太能不能幫我先下樓倒掉廚餘。當時她不想，因為我還沒煮完飯，可能會產生更多廚餘，所以她也許要再跑一 趟。她顯然也不喜歡倒廚餘。

She said something. Then I said something. She said something more. I raised my voice and said something more. This continued for a while, until I got angry and threw the sponge in the sink. At that point, we stopped. I said we are done arguing because I got angry. She took the trash out and I finished making dinner.

她說了一些話，我回她；她說更多，我更大聲的回，說比她多。這種情況持續了一段時間，直到我生氣了，把手上洗碗盤的海綿丟進水槽裡。那時，我們停下來，我說不可以吵了，因為我生氣了！最後，她去倒廚餘，我完成晚餐。

This might seem like a typical fight between couples. But what you did not see was the important aspect of the fight. Between the time we started the fight, and by the time that I threw the sponge, neither one of us had anger in our heart. We raised our voices not because we were angry. We raised our voices because we strengthened our will. I thought that I was right, and she thought that she was right, and neither of us were willing to back down. It was really a battle of will, more than fighting. When I threw down the sponge, I was angry, so we stopped.

這看起來像是一個典型的吵架。但您看不到的是：在吵架過程中，我們都沒有生氣。我們提高說話的聲音，不是因為生氣，而是去強化意志力。我認為我對，她認為她對，我們都不認輸。這是意志的戰鬥，不是吵架。當我丟下海綿時，我真的生氣了！所以停止戰鬥。

The anger that I expressed lasted about a second, and it was gone. Because I was able to immediately reflect on the fight, and made the observation that I just wrote. When she came back, I told her my observations and a few jokes later, it was like the fight never existed.

我的憤怒1秒內就不見了，因為我能夠立即反省剛寫的這個過程。我太太回來時，我告訴她自己的觀察，大笑幾聲後，這場吵架似乎從沒發生過。

Furthermore, she told me that when she was taking out the trash, she thought she should cry, because I yelled at her. But she told me that she could not cry because she didn't have sorrow within her. She did not cry because she could not think of a reason to cry.

此外，她告訴我，當她在倒廚餘時，覺得應該要哭，因為我對她大吼。但其實她並沒有哭，因為心裡沒有受傷。 她無法哭，因為她想不出需要哭的理由。（以前，她超愛哭的）

I think this is another measure of our progress on the Path.

我想，這應該是另一個進步的表示。