我為什麼修行 Why do I Walk The Path

When I was working on Master Ban Ji's article on Practice. I cannot help but think about my reason for walking the path.

當我在翻譯半寄師父寫的有關修行的文章，
不禁想到自己為何要修行的理由。

Actually, I am not sure how I got on the path, but I do know why I am still on it.

其實，我並沒有很清楚為什麼會開始？
但我知道自己為什麼到現在還在修。

Before I started, my life was good. I might have some aches and pains, but as far as I was concern, it was just part of getting old. My relationship with my wife was good; we might have fights now and then, but again, I thought that's just part of life as well. We both have steady incomes, and since my wife and I are not big on material possessions, I was doing fine economically too.

在修行之前，我的生活過得不錯。身體有一些疼痛，
但每個人年紀大了多少會有病痛。
我與我的太太的關係也蠻好的， 我們雖然會吵架，
不過，我認為那是生活的一部分。
我們各自有穩定的收入，而且不需要很多東西， 
所以經濟狀況也還好。

In other words, I was content because I accepted my situation, the goods and the bads, and that's when I met Master Ban Ji.

換句話說，我很滿足於現狀也十分認命，
我接受這一切，包含好的和壞的。
在這樣的狀況下，開啟了我第一次跟半寄師父見面的緣。

I don't remember much of the initial conversation. I just remember that I found her to be wise and sensible, and her talk of Buddhism is devoid of traditional trite that one can hear any where.

我不記得我們說了什麼，只記得，師父有智慧也很理智，
她談的佛教不是傳統、一般都聽得到的那種。

I remember that my head felt like it was about to burst, crammed with so much information.

我記得我的頭腦腫得快要爆炸一樣，塞滿了許多的知識。

I remember she told me to raise my emotional self.

我記得她告訴我，要提升自己的情感。

I remember trying to figure out how to do that, probably out of curiosity more than anything else, what would happen once I do so, and how do I even go about doing it.

我那時想要試試看，可能是因為我很好奇：
自己的情感提升了會如何，
也好奇一個人要如何去提升情感。

I remember going no where, and one day, when I asked myself a question, I got a physical reaction.
It was a slight flutter of the heart, at least that's what it seems. It was odd because I only had the reaction when I asked myself the question, if I just thought it, there was no reaction at all.

過了很久都沒甚麼效果，直到某天，
當我問自己一個問題時，身體心悸的反應，
讓我開始發現不一樣了。
奇怪的是，只有當我問自己問題時才會心悸，如果只是想著問題，並沒有任何反應。

That's how it all start, from that minute physical reaction. I performed many experiments on myself to validate the reaction, and it does seem that I can challenge my subconscious so that it produces a physical reaction in my body. So that means that what Master Ban Ji said wasn't totally without merit.

從這個小小的反應開始，我對自己做了許多實驗。
我似乎能挑戰自己的潛意識來讓身體有所反應。
這表示半寄師父說的，不無道理。

Today, I remain on the path, not because of the promise of Good Karma. Not because I can become another Buddha. Not because I can escape the cycle of life and death. I remain because I am curious. I want to see more what Truth looks like.

今天，我還在修行，不是為了福報，也不是想要成為另一個佛，更不是想要擺脫生死輪迴。
我修行，因為我很好奇，我要知道真相究竟是什麼樣子。

I am also afraid of forgetting what I know. I now understand why Vīrya (which means energy, diligence, vigor, effort). is one of the 6 Pāramitā. Right now, slow progress or no progress feels like regress.

現在，我也怕忘記自己所知道的一切；
瞭解為什麼在六波羅蜜多中，精進是其中之一。
緩慢的進步很像退步。

It is a race, and time is short.

這是一場比賽，然而，並沒有很多時間。