疑 1 Doubts 1

I have been reading the teachings of other Buddhist teachers and the accounts of some of their experiences and found confusion. Is it confusion or discomfort? I am not really sure. But it is unsettling.

最近，我讀了一些佛教不同法門的書、文章以及法師、修行者的經驗。
讀了之後，我覺得有一點迷惘混亂，或不適感？我不知道為何，但確實令人不安。

It is also actually very difficult to clearly state what I am confused and/or uncomfortable about.

很難說清楚到底哪裡迷惘混亂或不舒服。

It seems to me that they all have a common theme, and that is suffering. In fact, they all seem to put themselves at unnecessary suffering, only to find a way to be release from it. They also all have another common theme, and that is the use of meditation to learn how to be released from suffering.

他們看來都類似，有一個共同的主題，那就是苦。
他們似乎給自己不必要的痛苦，然後找一個方法來解脫，也常常用「禪定」來達到這個目的。

They follow ascetic rules to the point that students might ask such questions as "How much should I eat?" or "How much should I sleep?" Isn't one of the conditions to first stage of enlightenment the elimination of ritual attachment?

他們遵循苦修的原則，所以信徒們可能會有「我應該吃多少才對？」或「我應該睡多少？」的迷思
「戒除」不是達到果位的其中一個條件嗎？

They might go living in wilderness by their lonesome for many many years. Not only do they have a hard living, they also have to spent a lot of time, undoubtedly faced the demons that they unleashed through their own isolation.

修行者可能自己一個人住在山上，不僅有艱苦的生活，多年的孤單也會給他們很多時間去面對內心產生的魔。

I have no doubt that this sort of training can transform a person. It's like if you walk around with 20 pounds of weights on your ankle for 10 years, once the weights are taken off, you will feel like you are floating on air. Is this really enlightenment?

我毫不懷疑，這種培訓可以改變一個人。
就像如果您的腳綁了十公斤重的鐵鍊，這樣生活了10年，一旦鐵鍊被拿掉，您會覺得自己好像漂浮在空氣中。這是真相嗎？

It's almost that they don't believe Buddha when he said life is suffering. Because they have to voluntarily suffer even more. It is almost like their practices are entirely focused on suffering. To them, it seems like the goal is to be released from suffering.

似乎修行者不相信佛陀曾說生活是苦，所以他們自願去接受更多的苦。
這做法好像是將修行完全集中在痛苦，所以目標是從痛苦中得到解脫。

Is the goal to be release from suffering? Or is the goal to reach enlightenment, and eliminate suffering is simply a side effect? Is to be removed from suffering the enlightenment, the Truth?

我們的目標是解脫苦嗎？還是瞭解真相？滅苦是真相嗎？抑或只是得到真相的一個副作用而已？

Didn't Buddha rejected tapas(asceticism) himself on his path?

佛陀不是也覺得苦行這條路不能獲得真相？

But why do they all seem so accomplished, and their photos all show happy, compassionate faces?

如果這樣，那為什麼那些修行者看起來都有成就、他們的照片都顯現出快樂且富有同情心的那一面？

But most of all, why am I bothered by this?

但最重要的是，為什麼我覺得不安？

I guess this is vicikicchā (doubt).

我想這就是「疑」。

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