我想回應蘭花落地的討論
Response to “Orchid Fallen on the Ground”
這幾棵教室外的青楓，已陪伴我十多年了。從之前小小
棵到枝繁葉茂，它靜靜的慢慢的默默的長大，尤其這幾年，它
已經長的比我二樓教室還高了，每當我從教室望岀去，各種顏
色的葉子在陽光下閃閃發光，那種美，無法形容。但是，它長
太大了，遮住教室的陽光，所以寒假期間，它們被修剪成這
樣。
從此，每天走進學校，看到它從亭亭玉立的少年，邊成猶如殘
障人士站在那裡，我似乎能感受到它們的痛苦（其實是自己在
痛苦啦⋯），我忍不住跟文宗抱怨，為什麼讓人把樹砍成這樣？
他說了一堆理由（那天他很忙無法監工，人家是義務砍樹所以
不好要求，工具設備不足之類）之後，突然，他冒出一句，要
我想想：這是「真相」，為何自己無法接受？他說，他體會岀
那個「輾貓」禪師的厲害。（這是哪招？故意轉移話題）
The maple trees outside my classroom have been my
companions for
over ten years now. I watched them grow from little
saplings into
big trees with lots of branches and leaves, slowly
and silently. A few
years ago they had grown higher than the second
floor classroom, so
that every time I looked out the window I saw their
indescribably
beautiful leaves of many colors glimmering in the
sunlight. But they
got to be so big that they were obstructing the
sunlight from entering
the classroom, so during the winter vacation they
were thoroughly
pruned. Afterwards, every time I came to school and
saw these
formerly flourishing trees that now look stunted
and disfigured, I
felt sorry for them (actually, I felt sorry for
myself), and couldn’t
stop myself from asking Jacky Wen-tsung Li about
it. After offering
various conventional explanations---he was too busy
on that day to
inspect the trimming work; it was a volunteer
trimming crew, so he
didn’t want to make too many demands; lack of
proper equipment---
he suddenly blurted out something that made me think:
“This is how
it is, so why not just accept it?”
He reminded me of the Chan master who
chopped a cat in half,
which I took as simply a way of
changing the topic.
不過，我覺得他說的有道理。於是，我每經過那幾棵被
斷了手腳的樹，我問自己，為何我的感情無法接受「真相」？
為何對於那消失了的「假相」眷戀不捨？我希望楓樹能趕快長
出新枝葉，回到往日燦爛，但已經一個星期過去了，它們一點
動靜也沒有（至少我看不出來）。我的感情在此徘徊，既無法
接受「真相」的殘酷也無法讓那消失的「假相」離去。當有一
天，「真相」也必然成為了「假相」（可能再度枝繁葉茂也可
能被颱風吹走被人砍掉），那時，我的感情又該擺在哪裏呢？
看到師父蘭花落地的發文，產生了以上的反思。
南投親愛國小分校洪雅玲老師的回饋。
以及蔡智美老師的回應：
雅玲!好棒!對，就是那種"感情在那徘徊、拉鋸、自疑的痛
苦!"明知是真相，但為何無法接受?!雅玲太謙虛了，謝謝妳點出
了那個矛盾點!
Still, there was something true about
what he had said. Now, every
time I walk past that row of trees
with amputated branches, I ask
myself why I have such a hard time
accepting “the way it is”? Why
was I so sentimentally attached to a
“conditional characteristic” that
had disappeared? I was hoping that
the maple trees would swiftly
grow new branches and leaves and regain
their former splendor, but
after a whole week they were exactly the
same (as far as I could tell).
As long as those emotions lingered, I
was unable to accept the
unpleasantness of “the way it is,” nor
could I let go of that
“conditional characteristic” that had
disappeared. After some time
“the way it is” (true appearance) will necessarily
become a “false
appearance” (perhaps the trees will
begin to thrive again, and then
get blown over by a typhoon or chopped
down), and when that
happens, how will I feel?
It was Shifu’s article “Orchid Fallen on the Ground” that
got me
thinking like
this.
(From Linda Ya-ling Hung, a teacher at Qinai Elementary
School in Nantou.)
Another teacher, Zhimei Tsai,
responded:
Ya-ling, that’s great! That’s exactly
what’s meant by “the suffering
and doubt that arises when we get stuck
in a state of emotional
attachment.” Even though we clearly see
“the way it is,” why is it
that we can’t accept it? Ya-ling, you’re
being overly modest; thanks
for pointing out this conundrum!
(From Hong Yaling, a teacher at Qinai Elementary School
in Nantou.)
for pointing out this conundrum!
Linda Ya-ling Hung
Translated by Ken Kraynak
