病痛在折磨的時候，形而上學起不了作用，唯心論也不知跑去哪裡? ( 唯心論者的教法是心想事成，一切外面事物的呈現，唯心所現，是心與心所(對待)產生)，努力的自我振作精神，卻怎麼也無法拿學的思想，去擊敗病痛 ! 逼得自己回頭正視身體感官的存在，而它確實也真真實實的存在，不是心跟心所而已，也無法是借用的態度帶過，我清楚的知道，它就是自己的自己，不是別人借給你的，更不是唯心所現的，而這些為什麼這麼被佛教界忽視、漠視 !?
When I was been tortured by ailments, metaphysics was useless to me. Philosophical Idealism was no place to be found either. The teaching of Idealism is that an idea can become reality. Everything that we see are all created by the mind, and appeared for the mind. But no matter how I tried, I could not take an idea to defeat pain and illness. So I needed to look at the existences of my body and senses. And it really exists as well. Your body is not created by your mind, and you could not treat it as a borrowed vessel. I clearly know that it is the self of myself, not a loan from other people, and not created by my mind. But why does the Buddhist world ignore this?
現實的感觸像教人打開眼睛一樣，在生病中思索佛法，自己的身體像老師一般帶我去看佛學沒教的東西，我看見身體不是臭皮囊，也不是明代理學家講的有浩然正氣的充滿，就是一個身體，有感情、有感官、會自己觸摸身體的痛、愉快、失落.......，然後回報給自己它的感受，假使你讓它自己自由，不強迫它用學理回答自己，也不灌輸它該怎麼想?! 怎麼感受?! 那它會真實回答你自己，它是什麼感覺。
A touch of reality taught me to open my eyes. While thinking about teaching of Buddha in ailments, I found that my body is like a teacher and taught me what Buddhism did not teach. I found that body is not simply a bag of flesh and skin. It is also not what the philosophers' from the Ming dynasty called "Full of awe-inspiring righteousness." A body is a body, with feelings, with senses. It will tell you how it feels, pain, happiness, confusion... If you let your body be free, and if you don't force it to use theory to answer you, and if you don't tell it what to think. What would happen? It will tell you truthfully how it feels.
半寄 Master Ban Ji
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