滅絕師太 2
有一天阿牛從他的劍裏看到一些親屬在劍光裡頭閃爍，
想說自己已經有劍了，也該讓他們放心，
就跟自己的親屬說說話，
不料，這話被公公型的滅絕師太聽到了，
公公型的滅絕師太像得失智症般，
亢奮的群起忿恨，
堅稱他們都是沒有昨天的華山大門派，
我們都不記得昨天了，
怎可能阿牛有昨天？
阿牛也看過被丟到失智院的華山門徒，丟到失智院，也沒引起注意，
還惹得失智院照顧的姑娘咬牙切齒，忿恨於華山派，
而這對於阿牛的惦記，卻連得「昨天失智症」的華山大門派，竟然意外的沒失智。
說也奇怪，這華山派一旦講起故事，都拿5百世興高采烈的講得口沫橫飛，
而「昨天」不被採用記錄在5百世裡面，
他們已制權認定，這5百世，3世，百千萬劫的計算式，是華山派才能有的制定，
一旦出現其他計算式一律誅殺，
但這華山派說失智就失智，讓他們稱霸武林，這計算式是
（1）+（1）=無限
（1）-（1）=無限
（-1）+（-1）=無限
（－1）－（－1）=無限
阿牛有段時間也被華山派的計算式搞得天昏地暗，
直到確認
1+1跟1-1
都不會直接=無限時，
才喘口氣來。
被華山派紙上劍譜害慘過的阿牛，
在鑄劍成功後，
是不可能再為那些紙上的計算式迷宮困惑，
那些華山計算式燒的火候不對，
要嘛把鐵燒得沒了蹤跡，
要嘛把鐵還原成土，
而寫那些計算式的華山派，連火侯在夢裡也沒算出來過。
這樣搞，到達無限生命時，劍連影子還沒看過！
半寄
Miejue Abbess 2
One day, A-Niu saw the images of his relatives shining inside his sword.
He thought that since he finally had a sword,
he should speak to them and let them rest easy.
Unfortunately, the eunuch-like Miejue Abbess overheardhim. She reacted as if she were senile—suddenly overexcited and bursting into furious outrage.
She insisted that they were all from the Huashan Grand Sect, a sect with no past. “We don’t remember yesterday at all,” they said.
“So how could A-Niu have one?”
A-Niu had seen Huashan disciples sent to mental institutions.
No one cared.
Only the young women working there grew angry and resentful,
blaming the Huashan Sect.
But when it came to their concern for A-Niu, the great Huashan sect—usually ‘forgetful even about yesterday’—was unexpectedly not forgetful at all.
Whenever they told stories,
they excitedly talked about events from five hundred lifetimes ago.
But “yesterday” was never counted as part of those five hundred lives.
They claimed that only Huashan had the right to define time and numbers:
five hundred lives, three lives,
hundreds of thousands of kalpas.
Any other way of counting was forbidden and destroyed.
By choosing when to be “demented,”
the Huashan Sect controlled the martial world.
Their math looked like this:
（1）+（1） = infinity
（1）-（1） = infinity
（-1）+（-1）= infinity
（－1）－（－1） = infinity
For a while, A-Niu was completely confused by this.
Only after confirming that
1 + 1
and
1 − 1
do not equal infinity
did he finally feel relief.
After being harmed by Huashan’s paper sword manuals,
and after forging a real sword himself,
A-Niu could no longer be trapped by meaningless formulas.
Huashan’s calculations burned at the wrong temperature:
either the iron disappeared,
or it turned back into dirt.
Even the Huashan sect, so busy writing out calculations, never managed to figure out the right timing—even in their dreams.
With methods like this,
even if someone lived forever,
they would never even see the shadow of a sword.
Master Banji
